Gentle love....

After reading this morning, I'm reminded of how sweet and gentle God's love is toward me.

How He lovingly embraces me when I hurt and when I'm happy.

How He delights in such an embrace.

I'm falling in love with being in His presence.I run to it as the woman in Proverbs seeks her lover. 

I'm finding that there is the place where I'm safe to release it all.

The place where it is okay to be me.

Where I can walk into the room and not feel ashamed; knowing wholeheartedly that I belong.

Not because of anything I've done or not done; but everything to do with what He has done.

A love so sweet and comforting.

A love that restores with no condemnation.

A love that reminds you of His purpose.

A love that edifies and blesses in spite of.

A love that longs for me.

Unexplainable but so undeniable.

My Alabaster box

"Then Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard, anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped HIS feet with her hair." John 12:3

                I've been giving a lot of thought to my goals for this year 2011. I realize above all things; I desire to pour the contents of my alabaster box out on HIS feet. It does not belong to me anyway. Here is what I've come up with so far.....

1. Spend more time on my knees in prayer. Driving down the road one day, I realized I had did away with the thought of prayer on my knees. I prayed standing, while cleaning, or sitting in a chair, driving but i didn't spend time on my knees.Don't get me wrong, these are all acceptable ways to pray but the posture taken when on your knees points me back to breaking my alabaster box and pouring it out.
2.Scripture Memorization. Something I had not really thought about before. I always thought just reading the word daily would be enough. I will eventually get it when its necessary. Now i am making a place for the word of God in my life.
3.Concentrate on spending Quality one-on-one time with all four kids.
4.To put an effective schedule into place. This is to ensure that I begin to be a good steward of my time. Accomplishing the things that God intends for me each day.
    "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1
5. To spend quality time with hubby. ~as that is a wife's desire anyway~
6.Do the 365 day photography challenge. The goal is to find my 3rd eye again.
7. I am creating  a 52 week poetry/writing challenge. Bringing back to two of my most beloved hobbies.

I am so excited! God ended the year placing me within some amazing networks that reassured me of being apart of HIS body, and brought about books that together will encourage me throughout the year to accomplish HIS desires for my life and my family during the year 2011!

Looking in.....

Yesterday, after having an amazing time with the Lord, I had a melt down. I became so frazzled. I, in all my humanness, could not see in front of me. I gathered myself enough to call my husband and God gave him direction. Afterwards, I began speaking inwardly and realized the words I had been mulling over was then being tested. Was it truth to me or was it just something nice to know. Oh, It's TRUTH now! In all things I have to trust you and continue to do good and think good. Responding with gentleness and a confident spirit went out the window and fear stood strong and overbearing. I am reminded of Jesus saying, ".....Satan has asked excessively for you, that he might sift you like wheat, BUT I prayed for you....."I absolutely love it! I believe because I have been spending time with HIM that I was alerted early what was actually taking place and quickly came back to one accord with the Father. Thank you, Lord, that you are for me and on my side as long as I am on the side of righteousness and truth. Days like this brings me happily back to my knees. To bless my Lord and yet again pour out the contents of my alabaster box.

In the arms of the Father

As I sat in my rocker this morning reading the book, "Calm in my Chaos" by Elisabeth Corcoran; I came across an Author's note. She decided to write a letter to the children she will never have. It surprisingly touched an area in me that I did not know was there. The Holy Spirit whispered,"In this same way you can release them to me." In our 6 years of marriage we have experienced four miscarriages. Though the first one was the most traumatic, the others weigh in as well. Leaving a sadness in your heart that only God can repair.Realizing that I am not in control; I relinquished  control on this matter totally to the Father in an effort to move on with life. I thought that was all that needed to be done. Apparently not, so in obedience I began writing the letter......
                      Hi babies I will meet in Heaven,
            For some reason, I do not know, I wasn't able to supply the necessary ingredients to suffice life within me. Jesus met you to fill in for my inadequacy. Though He is holding you in Love's perfect arms, I sometimes think my arms would have been warm enough. "God knows best,"I tell myself; but it doesn't dull the sadness some days. Knowing that it is out of my control, I released you. There are so many things I will not get to do with you on this side of Heaven; like watching you grow, taking your first step, or reading to you. Dressing you,diapering you, praying for your health, rocking you, soothing you when your fever spikes or comforting you when you get hurt. I know you are okay. Because of you I know the Father God in way that some won't. I am learning to trust HIM with Life and knowing that he holds all in HIS hands. I love you my dears. Until we meet again, I will hold on to you in my heart......
                                                                                                  Love Mommy.

Since no one knows the future, who can tell what is to come?-----Ecclesiastes 8:7